I think however, that I've finally reached a place where I'm not OK with ignoring this little weight game that I've been playing for the last couple of years. Hence, writing about it here. I wouldn't be taking the extreme measure of writing about my struggles and accomplishments for anyone in the cyber world to read if it was all wonderful, right? I feel like something is different though, like I'm actually prepared to make the necessary changes this time because I don't want to be the F word anymore.
On a totally positive note, I did something that I'm super proud of today! Sundays are my long run days, and I knew that today was going to be a challenge. It was 5.5 miles, which is the furthest I've run since May when I did my last 10 k. How you might ask, does someone go from training for a 10 k to just not doing anything for 2 months? Well, largely because it's so much easier to succumb to the hypnotic ways of my couch after the kids are in bed than it is to get my butt out the door or down to my dank dungeon of torture (not to be confused with the red room of pain, that's a totally different story, and really not the same...at all!)
Getting back to today, I stood eye to eye with my schedule this morning and I stared at that 5.5 miles typed there for the whole world to see. As I stood there like a crazy woman, staring at this harmless piece of paper hanging on my fridge, I made a decision that I was better than 5.5 miles. That if I wanted to, I could run 7 miles today and that 5.5 miles was nothing! A drop in the bucket really! So before I actually allowed myself to acknowledge that I was in fact a bold-faced liar, I laced up my NB's and headed down the stairs. And you know what? I kicked that 5.5. right square in the kisser, and felt great when I was done! I started taking walk breaks after I hit 2.5 miles, which is totally fine with me. I'm totally cool with the 10 and 1 rule, I just like to get some distance behind me before I take the first walk break.
So, tomorrow morning think of me as I stand on my scale, in my bathroom afraid to look down at my feet. That reminds me, I should probably paint my toes so it doesn't look quite so bad!